Ask anyone who is a professional child care provider, the Terrible Two's have nothing on the Triple-the-Terror Three's!
Normally, I like to offer some penny of advise that has worked in my family...not this time! My goal today is to say...HELP! What has worked for your family during this stage?
Although I understand that consistency worked great for the Two's, its the fits that we don't understand now. Counting to three was magic for me, but didn't work well for my husband. Sometimes taking a toy or a special animal away for a period of time was effective to convince him that he really wanted to do the right thing.
The nasty temper tantrums were never this bad though. He goes from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds flat! The paediatrician and all the advise I read has always said to ignore the fits and the phase lasts shorter...no luck so far. How long do we brace for this phase? Have you found anything more effective?
Thoughts from more seasoned Momma's?
MK
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
The Paci Debate Rages On
First: I love the paci/binky/100 Names for a Pacifier
Second:: There comes a time to take it away
Third: My husband and I have differing opinions on when
For those questioning the use of a paci, understand it is a great way to teach a child to self-soothe. That is an inportant skill to teach a baby from the very beginning. Once the time to rock your baby to sleep is drawing near, a paci can help ease the transition. I use it as a step in the bed time routine(we already discussed why that is so important.) My husband and I agree on this part.
I think if child is awake and crawling/walking/playing, that a paci shouldn't be in their mouth. Of course, it goes without saying that each child is different and each day's circumstances have to be considered. For example, if you out of the normal routine the paci may be your link to "normal." Perfect use. It might allow your baby to calm down while you are furiously trying to get to a hotel/home/car/normal environment.
When do you take the paci away? Man, this is the hard one! I think once they are about 18 mos old and most reading supports this timeframe. For our family, the school teacher took it away and that was that. The boys both slept at naptime at school with no problems. SUCCESS! Then it was time to follow through at home since the hard work had been done by our awesome teachers at school.
Here's the hard part at home: Take the paci away when you are ready and DON'T slide backwards. You might get some tears out of this stage but the stronger you are at resisting, the shorter this hard time will last. At first we gave him the option..."Big boys get to sleep with Buzz Lightyear and babies sleep with a paci...Buzz Lightyear or paci?" At First he chose the paci, but after a few nights he chose the Buzz Lighyear and I didn't look back.
Notice I said, " I didn't look back?" All the parents, babysitters and family must be on the same page. (This is the disagreement part!) If that group does not present a united front...your child will know it and act out for the paci.
OK, I can talk more on this but the last thing I'll say is...you have to teach a newborn to want a paci. They may have a difficult time adjusting to one or the other. Try changing brands if you haven't noticed any improvement after about two weeks old. (I started w/a couple of brands on hand to see which they had any success with--Playtex Ortho Pro for both boys)
MK
Second:: There comes a time to take it away
Third: My husband and I have differing opinions on when
For those questioning the use of a paci, understand it is a great way to teach a child to self-soothe. That is an inportant skill to teach a baby from the very beginning. Once the time to rock your baby to sleep is drawing near, a paci can help ease the transition. I use it as a step in the bed time routine(we already discussed why that is so important.) My husband and I agree on this part.
I think if child is awake and crawling/walking/playing, that a paci shouldn't be in their mouth. Of course, it goes without saying that each child is different and each day's circumstances have to be considered. For example, if you out of the normal routine the paci may be your link to "normal." Perfect use. It might allow your baby to calm down while you are furiously trying to get to a hotel/home/car/normal environment.
When do you take the paci away? Man, this is the hard one! I think once they are about 18 mos old and most reading supports this timeframe. For our family, the school teacher took it away and that was that. The boys both slept at naptime at school with no problems. SUCCESS! Then it was time to follow through at home since the hard work had been done by our awesome teachers at school.
Here's the hard part at home: Take the paci away when you are ready and DON'T slide backwards. You might get some tears out of this stage but the stronger you are at resisting, the shorter this hard time will last. At first we gave him the option..."Big boys get to sleep with Buzz Lightyear and babies sleep with a paci...Buzz Lightyear or paci?" At First he chose the paci, but after a few nights he chose the Buzz Lighyear and I didn't look back.
Notice I said, " I didn't look back?" All the parents, babysitters and family must be on the same page. (This is the disagreement part!) If that group does not present a united front...your child will know it and act out for the paci.
OK, I can talk more on this but the last thing I'll say is...you have to teach a newborn to want a paci. They may have a difficult time adjusting to one or the other. Try changing brands if you haven't noticed any improvement after about two weeks old. (I started w/a couple of brands on hand to see which they had any success with--Playtex Ortho Pro for both boys)
MK
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Close cousin of SLEEP...Schedule
OK...you knew it was coming. So here goes.
Set one, build in some flexibility, and STICK TO IT!
Vacation is a perfect parallel. No matter how much fun you are having, you know how by the end you want to get home...to your bed, to your house..."back to normal"? Normal is what you know & what you expect.
Normal is the schedule. Deviating can be fun, it can be a special...but you go back to normal and things calm down. Everyone knows what to expect and how to act. Well, now you know the importance of a schedule to kids. A routine is a great way to keep that "normal" in order. When that routine is broken, they are in "vacation mode." Who doesn't break the rules, act crazy and party on vacation? Same idea.
I'm not saying you have to make a strict minute by minute schedule for the whole day. Even for a baby, the regular routine of morning bottle>playtime>morning nap>lunch>afternnon playtime>afternoon nap...you get the idea, is a routine. My nighttime signal was changing into PJs followed by the nighttime bottle...then nighttime..still works to this day. (Just like it is for us parents, right?)
Remember: Set a schedule, develop the routine...Its the key to "normal."
MK
Set one, build in some flexibility, and STICK TO IT!
Vacation is a perfect parallel. No matter how much fun you are having, you know how by the end you want to get home...to your bed, to your house..."back to normal"? Normal is what you know & what you expect.
Normal is the schedule. Deviating can be fun, it can be a special...but you go back to normal and things calm down. Everyone knows what to expect and how to act. Well, now you know the importance of a schedule to kids. A routine is a great way to keep that "normal" in order. When that routine is broken, they are in "vacation mode." Who doesn't break the rules, act crazy and party on vacation? Same idea.
I'm not saying you have to make a strict minute by minute schedule for the whole day. Even for a baby, the regular routine of morning bottle>playtime>morning nap>lunch>afternnon playtime>afternoon nap...you get the idea, is a routine. My nighttime signal was changing into PJs followed by the nighttime bottle...then nighttime..still works to this day. (Just like it is for us parents, right?)
Remember: Set a schedule, develop the routine...Its the key to "normal."
MK
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Sleep...don't under estimate it!
This blog is for those horrible mornings when nothing goes right! Get back in bed and go back to sleep, isn't that what the old wive's tale is? I think there is some validity to that.
My sister(who I will quote A LOT!) told my husband and I before we had our first baby, "If he wakes up crying and grumpy...he wasn't ready to wake up yet." Once we actually experienced it, we knew she was right again.
Example: Baby goes down for nap. Baby wakes up after 45 minutes...crying. Baby normally sleeps an hour and a half. Here's the important part: LEAVE BABY IN BED! Most likely baby will fall back asleep and get that needed(read: normal) rest. Babies are just like us, soemtimes they wake up early but aren't quite ready to kick it into gear yet. Roll over and hit snooze, right. Same idea.
For both of my kids it was true. If allowed them to wake up gently in their own bed...life was so much more managable for them. I waited until they were talking to me on the monitor before I went in to greet them. If they woke up crying, I did my best to resist going in the rescue them.
Hopefully this one works for you,
MK
My sister(who I will quote A LOT!) told my husband and I before we had our first baby, "If he wakes up crying and grumpy...he wasn't ready to wake up yet." Once we actually experienced it, we knew she was right again.
Example: Baby goes down for nap. Baby wakes up after 45 minutes...crying. Baby normally sleeps an hour and a half. Here's the important part: LEAVE BABY IN BED! Most likely baby will fall back asleep and get that needed(read: normal) rest. Babies are just like us, soemtimes they wake up early but aren't quite ready to kick it into gear yet. Roll over and hit snooze, right. Same idea.
For both of my kids it was true. If allowed them to wake up gently in their own bed...life was so much more managable for them. I waited until they were talking to me on the monitor before I went in to greet them. If they woke up crying, I did my best to resist going in the rescue them.
Hopefully this one works for you,
MK
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Ahhhh...The "Momma Gut"
My sister and I refer to that nagging feeling of knowing as the "MOMMA GUT." Most people call it a "mother's instinct" but I like our term better. No matter what you call it, don't forget to use it...AND TRUST IT!
My first experience with it was when my oldest was about 4 wks old and he was throwing up on me. I don't mean little spit ups; I mean saturating me or anyone who held him. Not only was it embarrassing for him to throw up all over my boss's wife, my Momma Gut said something was really wrong.
The doctor visits began. I won't bore you with details, but when he was 5 months old he was FINALLY diagnosed with severe food allergies and put on formula that cost $180 for a 10 day supply and could only be ordered at a pharmacy.
All along, my Momma Gut kept screaming "THIS ISN'T IT YET!" When I finally asked my pediatrician(who I adore & trust!) for a referral to a specialist, I felt it was the right move. Thank goodness she trusted me in return. It was a long road, but that is not my point.
My point is that there were plenty of people who said "all babies spit up." Well, frankly, they were not the mother of my baby and didn't know what I felt in my Momma Gut. I KNEW this was nothing normal. As committed as I was to nursing, the pediatric gastro doc told me to test the formula "kinda like a prescription." He was guessing this was an allergy problem and not a true gastro problem. It all fit and my Momma Gut calmed down immediately. Ah ha, we have an answer! Two months later we confirmed he was allergic to: Milk, wheat, soy, eggs, beef, corn, turkey, potatoes, carrots, strawberries and cats! Man, was he happy once he wasn't miserable anymore!
This Momma Gut phenomenon has continued with my second son. I have developed a great relationship with all the boys specialists because I educate myself, but primarily I trust my Momma Gut and don't give up til it calms down. (Allergist, Pulmonologist & ENT...more on that at a later date)
I believe God changes a woman when she has a baby, the greatest of these graces is The Momma Gut!
MK
My first experience with it was when my oldest was about 4 wks old and he was throwing up on me. I don't mean little spit ups; I mean saturating me or anyone who held him. Not only was it embarrassing for him to throw up all over my boss's wife, my Momma Gut said something was really wrong.
The doctor visits began. I won't bore you with details, but when he was 5 months old he was FINALLY diagnosed with severe food allergies and put on formula that cost $180 for a 10 day supply and could only be ordered at a pharmacy.
All along, my Momma Gut kept screaming "THIS ISN'T IT YET!" When I finally asked my pediatrician(who I adore & trust!) for a referral to a specialist, I felt it was the right move. Thank goodness she trusted me in return. It was a long road, but that is not my point.
My point is that there were plenty of people who said "all babies spit up." Well, frankly, they were not the mother of my baby and didn't know what I felt in my Momma Gut. I KNEW this was nothing normal. As committed as I was to nursing, the pediatric gastro doc told me to test the formula "kinda like a prescription." He was guessing this was an allergy problem and not a true gastro problem. It all fit and my Momma Gut calmed down immediately. Ah ha, we have an answer! Two months later we confirmed he was allergic to: Milk, wheat, soy, eggs, beef, corn, turkey, potatoes, carrots, strawberries and cats! Man, was he happy once he wasn't miserable anymore!
This Momma Gut phenomenon has continued with my second son. I have developed a great relationship with all the boys specialists because I educate myself, but primarily I trust my Momma Gut and don't give up til it calms down. (Allergist, Pulmonologist & ENT...more on that at a later date)
I believe God changes a woman when she has a baby, the greatest of these graces is The Momma Gut!
MK
Monday, March 21, 2011
A friend said to me...
"I'm having a baby...well, my wife is...what is your best tip?"
KNOW THE DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES!!!
That is the key to your patience and understanding, and therefore your sanity. The more you understand what your child's natural reactions and abilities are, the better you will be able to help in a positive way.
Best example: Have you ever been in public and seen a mom or dad repeatedly taking a toy/piece of paper/pen/object of any kind out of a baby's mouth? And I mean baby. You know, 4 mos-12 mos old...baby. Their frustration increases the more the baby chews on the object.
If you knew the stages, you'd understand that EVERYTHING is going DIRECTLY to that baby's mouth. That is how they explore their environment at that age and it feels good on hurting gums since they are probably teething. Easy solution...only give a baby what you are ok with them chewing on. Voila!
This is true across the board so far and Im' guessing it will be for a while.
So Momma Warriors, do your reading (when you have time) and learn the basics of the stages. You'll be so happy you took the 10 minutes(that's really all it takes) and so will the rest of the family. Lots of orgs have free e-mail subscriptions for a quick run-down of highlights.
Register for Parent's Magazine version
MK
KNOW THE DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES!!!
That is the key to your patience and understanding, and therefore your sanity. The more you understand what your child's natural reactions and abilities are, the better you will be able to help in a positive way.
Best example: Have you ever been in public and seen a mom or dad repeatedly taking a toy/piece of paper/pen/object of any kind out of a baby's mouth? And I mean baby. You know, 4 mos-12 mos old...baby. Their frustration increases the more the baby chews on the object.
If you knew the stages, you'd understand that EVERYTHING is going DIRECTLY to that baby's mouth. That is how they explore their environment at that age and it feels good on hurting gums since they are probably teething. Easy solution...only give a baby what you are ok with them chewing on. Voila!
This is true across the board so far and Im' guessing it will be for a while.
So Momma Warriors, do your reading (when you have time) and learn the basics of the stages. You'll be so happy you took the 10 minutes(that's really all it takes) and so will the rest of the family. Lots of orgs have free e-mail subscriptions for a quick run-down of highlights.
Register for Parent's Magazine version
MK
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Bee's Knees
Howdy Moms...I'm gonna save your knees today!
I bought mulitple knee savers for bath time at Toys R Us and not one worked. One day I was walking with the boys through Ace Hardware and ran across the foam garden kneeler. I pulled one off the shelf and tested it right in the Ace Garden Section and have used it at every bath since. I bought one in a little larger size at Target also. So nice!
So here is my plan...I want to make one called Bee's Knees and sell if for $8-10. I think I will use primary colors(haven't worked out details of this yet) or have it in yellow and black stripes w/the logo my husband made for me. Its cheap and durable and when you aren't bathing kiddos anymore you can use it for a seat cushion for Little League games. (Samples below)
I added one in the "MK Favorites" bar to the left in case you want to test my theory. I promise you won't regret it! The section links into Amazon and you can buy products in one click instead of having to search for them yourself. (Tell me what you think if you use it.)
MK
I bought mulitple knee savers for bath time at Toys R Us and not one worked. One day I was walking with the boys through Ace Hardware and ran across the foam garden kneeler. I pulled one off the shelf and tested it right in the Ace Garden Section and have used it at every bath since. I bought one in a little larger size at Target also. So nice!
So here is my plan...I want to make one called Bee's Knees and sell if for $8-10. I think I will use primary colors(haven't worked out details of this yet) or have it in yellow and black stripes w/the logo my husband made for me. Its cheap and durable and when you aren't bathing kiddos anymore you can use it for a seat cushion for Little League games. (Samples below)
I added one in the "MK Favorites" bar to the left in case you want to test my theory. I promise you won't regret it! The section links into Amazon and you can buy products in one click instead of having to search for them yourself. (Tell me what you think if you use it.)
MK
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